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Thom

Anyone want to review the CD?

Go ed. Someone who doesn't play on it, mind.
DTL

Yadda, yadda, yadda... a welcome addition to any collection... Except for Thom's bits of course... All in all 9/10

There you go.

Gimme £30
will

30 quid? i got NOWT for my review of your EP (which you got printed in the Star) and that was at least 100 times longer.
DTL

But not as good.
TheBear

Highlights for me...Mechagodzilla, Corinthians and BigKiv...thats about it really
RicMcToo-Cool

What CD and where do I get one!?
will

the Collective CD that was in process for like... years, and you probably ask Thom for one.
Grumphuttock

A bit muck! Rolling Eyes
Chubby Checker

what he said.
Pete

Listening to it now...

So here we are, Tuesday - nondescript indeed - fittingly then that this masterfully put together St Helens Music Collective CD [Three] would kick off with such a song as 'Shoes (Time Again)'. Hundred Story High resplendent in lovely production, a Julianne Regan vocalalike and shimmery pleasantness excel in the nice. But for a song about Shoes, surely not such a good thing. Who wants nice shoes. You can have nice crockery, but shoes - the windows to the soul - nay says I, and nay to the 'nice'.

Much better is Treeo's 'Bomb Rap', something so hideously overcooked it conjours up images of Shaun Ryder and Kermit stewing after an all-night crack session while John Squire kicks back throwing preposterously self-indulgent baggy wahs laden with all the stereotypes of a mid-90s Brit-pop party. Best of all is Tom Twostix's Tom Waits-does-the-Muppets vocal grumbles - a triumph in individualistic silliness. If I was drunk I may just wee myself.

If you looked up track 3, 'Demons' by The Black Jackals on Wikipedia it would probably be filed under gash. Think The Music backed by Ocean Colour Scene wearing a parka in SuperNova Heights. Chris Evans would no doubt lap it up. Thankfully it doesn't stick around long before my speakers almost blow to the chaotic triumph of Mechagodzilla, a band so wrong they make Mike Patton appear mundane. Warped infantile warbles clash with deafening drums, ear-splicing feedback and rude time signatures. Just marvellous.

There's a plethora of wrongness attached to what follows - 'She Wished For Rain' by Anonymous Poets is your bog-standard lament with awful cliche-ridden lyrics (sample: 'Before we brake, we bend'... or 'Everybody needs somebody, in the end'). But, similarly to the likes of Coldplay or dare I say it Embrace, there is something painfully direct and melancholic, which even the most cold-hearted can't ignore, and by the end even my lighter was aloft. Guilty pleasures indeed.

Speaking of bland, Avoid 13 have perfected this particular niche. They could trump Starsailor. Acoustic strum, slightly annoying nascent drawl, lack of any descernible rhythm rhythm section, its all here. Best of all is the sleave note: ''Sullen lyrics with hidden depths", oo-er missus. If the OC were slightly less dangerous, 'Your Own Way' would soundtrack it beautifully.

In between writing this review I was distracted by a moth, such was Violet's impression, or lack of, the moth won. It was relatively small, brownish, but for the small coating of greyish dust and the merest hint of yellow around the tip of its wings. An echo-heavy, faintly grungey solo threatens to waft my attention back to my computer speakers for the remainder of 'Shy' but alas to no avail, I had to free the moth from its trapped torment.

What the cunt was that! Ah, its the long-deceased remains of Corinthians rattling its bones. 'Official Robot Work Song' is a signpost for the sadly missed, but not forgotten. A megariffic spazztastic warlord of a tune which would be ideal to soundtrack a Cyberman workout song. Searing electro intro, doomy bass pops and a drum beat surely worked out on a calculator all bop along to a scuzzy vocal mantra barking orders like a underpaid, undersexed factory supervisor.

Private Universe are sadly too much; all strained vocals, AOR rawk and tinny production. I'm actually forced to press skip midway through as its making me wince and I'm right out of anti-wrinkle cream. The same can be said for The Heath, but I feel guilty and sit through their staid local boy punk. Probably suited more to a grotty ash-tray type venue, but sat in the comfort of our back bedroom, it sadly reminds me of the Stereophonics - on their sixth LP.

The buoyant skip of Giant Root Attack is a relief. All shanty doo-woop with a gorgeous breakdown which recalls one of my faves, the Beta Band. Simple, effective and certainly one of the best on offer here. Sadly, were soon back on ouch territory. Carl Pierce really deserves better friends. The one's that can say simply: 'Carl, you're a lovely bloke, forget the guitar, forget singing, lets go for a pint...' Soz.

Nowt can prepare me for BigKiv - this is revelatory shizzle. Imagine Nintendo programming Hot Chip with the infectious chorus of ScatMan John. Quite simply this is what local music collectives should be all about; bizarre quirks, nutty ideas complete with off-their-head samples. This is like good AIDS. Inject!

Similarly, Second Sunset are beset with ideas aplenty. Whether they convey them so well is open to opinion. Everything but a spoon solo is kicked out in 'Palpa Panic Stations' - ragga, dub-metal riffs, keyboard wig-outs and maddening vocals. Its all abit much, but I'd defo give em a second chance.

The Ups are a feisty kick up the arse. Sprightly guitar indie-punk which fits in superbly with this collection simply because they sound like no-one else on offer on [Three]. Its jangly, Clash-y rock n roll; we'll have some of that.

Sadly, Katch sound like they've been tagged on at the end to fill up space coming across as young, teen upstarts learning the art of playing. Freepitch are a tad better, harder and rockier, albeit not my thang.

To conclude, [Three] Is everything a music collective CD should be: eclectic, nasty, compelling and utterly rough round the edges. People should at least turn their ears to this compilation once. And then try again.
will

that was quick! i only dispatched that box of CDs to Ormskirk on Saturday.
pierce

Is this a review,or a personal attack?
BigKiv

Well I thought it was just lovely!
Thom

So people do actually check the forum!

Cheers for the review Mr. Guy!
i liked the bit about how amazing corinthians were
Grumphuttock

I thought every one had given up on it, but as they say a pilchard is bigger than a peanut!
BigKiv

Thats a turn up for the nuts...

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